nov 14 18

had a dream i met a teenage version of andy warhol at a job site while installing signs. we were putting up nonsensical signs, unrelated to anything, in a small, hidden alcove under a bridge. he commented about how he liked them because they were unviewable.

he watched us awkwardly from a distance for a few minutes before very shyly approaching.

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day 63

tuning the radio dial endlessly to new frequencies 

half-heartedly attempting to explain this whole thing   

stale air hangs in the present, the product of a decaying past and certain future  

*** 

i will paint after the next album is done. the next album is about a non-carbon based lifeform discovering humanity.

 

day 62

anything is true now, so be guided by faith, and either fall or rise at the end of an age

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day 59

being bombarded by other people’s expressions is not good if you are sensitive to it

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day 58

mundane novelty is the new cool thing on the precipice of the young, hip human art experience 

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day 56

most people lie to appear like something they are truly not- that deeper something. internalized, and wretched.  

our culture of image worshipping has gone beyond women/men trying to live up to impossible beach body magazine standards- now everyone with a phone and an internet connection can be famous beyond their means, take out loans for their soul.

it warms me to find people avoiding this, or actively sharing their truth sans “identity” to hopefully jolt some of these people out of their hopelessness and back to reality. 

ive struggled with this personally for a long time  

 

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day 55

ketogenic dieting is changing my physiological/psychosomatic experience of reality in an incredibly beneficial way.

millions of years are inside of us

wild is wisdom. reason. purpose. destination

 

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day 54

dreamt of the numbers 18 and 24

 

the internet is both the canary and the coal mine 

 

the unconscious dwells in the psychosomatic and the physiological realms.

 

you never know what it is causing you pain until you work honestly to uncover truth. 

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day 52

electric boogaloo

video games

painting

cigarettes 

lying in bed  

kombucha  

ned

gaby

uncle  

bagels

work

laundry

juice

tv

attention

free will

signs

family  

car

house

machines

hummus

candy

friendship

hdmi cables

rose water

cbd oil

ecosphere

beer

contacts  

ace hardware  

exodus

helium

succulents

toilet paper

washing machine

girls “father, son, holy spirit” 

kennel tray

water

vaccuum cleaner

bug spray

pain

avocado

”eighth grade” 

bbq

rings

apartment  

yarn

crossbow

stem cells

virtual reality

”the witness” 

gangaji

wildfires

quantum nonlocality  

faith

 

reality is an app for you to download and learn things with

 

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sync 1

watching “first reformed”. i began doing sit-ups because my body was feeling painful. i did a few and felt a slight, but noticeable, improvement in my clarity of perception and overall well-being. my mind began thinking that i should eat better and exercize more. 

just after I thought this, near the 1 hour mark of the film, ethan hawke’s character says in a bit of narration “it’s amazing the simple, curative power of exercise. it’s god given.”

day 51

casual void

 

quantum non locality is happening and is real, it’s tied to our consciousness as it rides the edge of our understanding.

 

things happen that can mold this phenomenon into profound synchronicities we experience, insightful dreams, and gut feelings or intuition.

 

love is directly tied to it and it reveals the truth beyond surface tension .

 

belief in such things can only be attributed to “being” in the right place at the right time. 

 

i used to be obsessed with such things, in a dangerous and harmful way, and I just understood why (again).  

day 50

the ever consuming shadow is the image 

the all encompassing light is being  

from the top!